Thursday, October 21, 2010

not emo post.. =)

i am demotivated..
but i am supposed to be worry-free..
i don't want people around me feel stressed out yet i'm the one doing it..
things will work out..
that's basically what i am holding on most of the time..
but today, perception changed..
sometimes i feel, effort will not pay off..
is it because not enough effort were put in?
is it because of my problem?
i don't want to be a failure,
never wanted to be one - kiasu you called it.
i always wanted to excel,
but always seemed to be lacking of something..
something that i do not know..
what is that particular thing that always restricts me from improving?
is it my very-low confidence?
or it is actually that i don't even know what i am capable for?
sometimes i am so reluctant to believe that,
everyone is born with something good, something that make them special..
because i don't see it in myself..
i certainly don't..

ok, maybe, maybe what is so special about myself is..
i always hoping to be better,
and i am trying striving hard to be one..
but i never knew if i did succeed..hahaha...

this is definitely not an emo post...
more like ranting about how i felt like at that particular moment this morning..
but after that, i totally left in behind..
see how fast i adapt/recover?
cold blooded sheesh!
i just searched for how to make my life worthwhile.. haha..
google is man's best fren?
oops.. not advertising it!
it is completely a question okay~

so to make my life worthwhile,
according to Jim Rohn,
i have to learn, try, stay, and care..
from that,
i realize that,
even though i am learning,
but i don't seem to be learning happily,
i don't try,
tend to give up before trying..
no wonder my life seems worthless all this while..
from now on,
i should learn!
i should try!
i should stay and care with open heart! =)
work hard for it kie?

shall off for my assignment..
will learn how to do it,
try to do as many as i can,
stay for awhile more after i want to stop doing it,
and that's because i care for my performance in class.. =p

Friday, October 15, 2010

sparky sparky here i come!

both pic taken after movie at the interlink of Mid Valley and Gardens
went to mid valley for the career fair on last Saturday.. fun..
chicken rice was expensive! but okay la.. quite nice...
delicious was very tempting yea? lets go makan next time!
but before that, i should work first.. =)

step up 3 after that.. 3D.. not so much of 3D effect..
i felt a bit wasted for watching 3D though..
but i definitely love those dance.. cool!
storyline... typical ones.. ntg much..
with his colleages btw..
very kind people! funny i meant.. oops.. haha
reached home late..
got "ngam" a lil by mommy & sis..
maybe no next time?

gonna try something new with new people..
hoping for some new sparks..
ntg went wrong..seriously..
just that, i think it is bad for not being able to make something work out sometimes..
it is just out of my limit... and i hate it very much..
i shouldn't just leave it all to them...
i might be a lil selfish.. that i chose to go with something else than remain the same..
but i din mean anything by doing so...
plainly wanna learn to deal with different kinds of people..
get some experience, wishing for some sparks..
thats only what im hoping for...

every cloud has a silver lining...

im definitely lovin this quote...because it taught me alot..
i love reading quote..
rather than force myself to read book..
maybe i shall turn to quotes to improve my vocabulary?
plus it is something i can reach easier than holding a book and force myself to understand..
i need silence when i read.. thats hard.. so yea~

i miss childhood..
because it is worry free... yay! for that..

random.. i know..
work work work
money money money..
assignment assignment assignment...

OH! one last thing!
one more month of diet to go...
cecilia.. jia you! =)
say no to food! =X..
oily ones i meant..