Monday, September 28, 2009

lalala...guest blogger is here today~

when i was chit chatting with my china frens,
suddenly msn msg came in, a fren of mine was totally in anger and she requested me for pinjam-ing her my blog to post about her...feelings..
so here it is...hehehe...
*seriously not me lar~*
she is my guest blogger...hahha...




I wanna blog!
Blog bout you - THE TWO-FACED DEVIL who always talk c*ck sing song and bullsh*tting around!
It's unfair to judge a person without knowing the person yet. F**k Off you B*T*H!
Thanks for all that you have done for me and that's what you called care about me!
Now i know how much you care for me till you want others to care about me as well by talking bad bout me and making others to have bad impression on me!
Thanks, because this is the way to show ppl how good you are in treating the person that "you cared most" ,
and the person whom you cared most is always treating you bad by trying to say good things bout you when others judeged you.
Oh now i know that this is the way to show your appreciation and that's why you said i don't appreciate you right,
just because i didnt tell others how bad you are in treating me instead of telling ppl how good you are.
Thanks alot.
I learned alot from you, I should tell ppl that how bad you are in treating me because this is the way to show you that i care and i appreciate for all that you've done to me.
If you're hoping for a good return please don't say that you're sincere because that makes me feel like puking in front of you.
You've acted alot, ugly bitch.
Oh the ugly truth, i should learn to accept it.
I feel like strangle you til you die and never appear in my life anymore.
How can you keep telling ppl around you that i'm treating you very bad?
what have i done that makes you think so?
just because you love me, care for me and you're expecting the same good return from me?
Is this what you call sincerity?
and if you're willingly to do, so dont complain so much.
What are you trying to do?
I really didnt know how well you can act like infront of me by keep telling me that how much you care for me and how much i meant to you while on the other hand you keep telling ppl that how bad i was?
Ppl who dont know me tends to have bad impression on me without even knowing me they can judge me that way and yeah thanks alot for spreading it continuosly.
Is that coincident that you're close to ppl who are close to me?
And even if they're close to me, what is your intention to tell others bout me and told them how bad was i?
i just dont know why and what makes you think that i treat you bad when i have already given in so much.
Even i'm close to the friend of mine and so you are, why must you always mention bout me?
and yeah my best friends all left me?
is this what you're trying to do and proof to ppl that i've some attitude problems till ppl want to leave me?
Open your eyes big enough to see whether ppl leave me or i choose to leave ppl?
I always choose to keep things to myself and keep quiet and this is what i got.
It's a descrimination to me.
It hurts to know that you think that i don't know how to appreciate you when you're around, when you're not around only i appreciate you?
i dont need you to teach me.
I appreciated you so much even b4 and after but all you know is just to blame on me.
I just don't understand why and why ppl around me who always claimed that they love and care bout me will end up doing all this to me?
i wonders why? why why?
When i always tell ppl how important you are to me, how good can you be, and this is what i deserve to get from you by telling how bad am i to others till others start to doubt me and place prejudice towards me.
If thats the case I prefer you not to love me and care for me.
i prefer you to love me like your friends.No its not up to what i decide, but why do you love me then?
whats the point of loving me then hate me? if you know you're gonna do all this to me, stay away from me.
i dont need your fake love just to show ppl how loyal can you be.
You're not at all, flirting all the way you want.
Did i ever be close to your new friends and start to talk bad bout you?
I still try to clear their doubts bout you, you know?
I just cant be as evil as you la! I surrender can?
Can you like f**k off from my life?
why is it so hard to just be friends?
why must always have to face problems like this?
why will i have friend like you? why?
i just don't understand.
I just thought that i should mend it all back and blame everything on myself to make you feel better, you dont appreciate it nevermind and i even have already not keeping in touch with you, why must you keep creating all this shits to me?
To grab my attention? i'm such a failure to not be bothered!
I hate all of you and especially you.
You're the TWO-FACED DEVIL!
How i wish to tell the whole wide world but i'm just not like you. I can't. Failure I am.
I HAVE ALREADY DISAPPEARED IN YOUR LIFE FOR LONG AND WHY MUST YOU KEEP STEPPING IN AGAIN TO MY LIFE?
ARE YOU REALLY WANTING ME TO DIE IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU CAN OWN ME TOTALLY?
I cant be this stupid.
I must tell myself to stay strong.
I hope that i can just fall down somewhere or knock by a car so that when i wake up,
all my memory with you all can be erased and i wont be bother much bout all this shits.
I'm praying for that.
I MUST LEARN NOT TO CARE BOUT PPL LIKE HOW I USED TO CARE BOUT OTHERS cos then i will just get hurt.
I have had enough already.
Thanks!
I MUST BE HAPPY AND NOT TO GIVE UP LIFE EASILY. I MUST NOT GIVE YOU ANY CHANCE TO PROVE YOU RIGHT. THANKS!




** Thanks to cecilia to allow me to rant here! Appreciate it so much! **
** There're more to come ** gonna blog in chinese **
** Thanks in advanced first cecilia **

Thursday, September 24, 2009

lalala...im totally good for ntg!!


argh...
being emo all over again...
its not because of others...
its ME...
MEEEEEE!
the useless one!

i dun understand....
how can i procrastinate things like that?!
i m enjoying my holiday YET im totally wasting time...
T_T...

wat feelings is that now?!
conflict in myself...
zzzzzzzz...
totally hate that!
angel and evil are fighting?
zzzzzzz....
in the end...
i feel like im a psycho...
stuck between good and bad...
the feeling SUCKS like dunno wat!
>.<


crapping all the away...
sorry for being emo....
=(








~end~


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

lalala...i abandon my bloggie again~

look...
i abandon my blog again...
dull life huh~
lol...

im a homey person...
SOMETIMES...
i can watch tv show the WHOLE day at home...
hehe...
i bet many ppl can do so laa...
just finished D.I.E B yesterday...
from around 12 oclock started watching till 2 am...
=ppp...
im a tv freak totally...

oh btw,
jie jie shifted hse...
somewhere near me..
haha...
so i will be changing to her room...
heck the room now is full of CUPBOARDS!!
the room is so small now...
=(...

ahh nvm...
wonder if i wanna go sing k later...
and also fren asked me out to sing k also...
dunno wan to go onot...

haven started my assignments...
i need guidance...
=(...

sometimes....

i just wonder....

hmmmmmm......





oh well,
a very important fren did this for me...
hahha...
very cute rite?
but i dunno how to do..
ahaha...
=p....

i dunno wat else to write...



ps: tell me..
what u wan me to do.......
OR
what should i do?






~end~


Thursday, September 17, 2009

lalala...dun blame it on me...



i knew it was not right for reacted that way nor thought that way...
so i tried...

i have put the effort...
but it wasn't appreciated...
i took the initiative...
i know...
not like i wanna blame...
but at least i tried...
and nobody accepts...

so...
no one can ever blame it on me...
i suppose...

i gave it a try...
seriously i know i did...
because what i think was...
i would react this way,
because i care...
so i shud give in...
as no one can stand my temper like how my family does..
so to blend myself in the society,
i need to take the initiative...
and so i really did...

come on...
i know what was i doing...
i know things happened weren't right...
i know it was wrong...
i know i have to make a change....
i know i did...
so i GUESS,
i'm not to blame...
right?


oh btw,
i dun wanna make my blog an emo blog...
lets blog about class today~!
psychology!
fuh...
i know..
i always use impact bias...
hahaha..
seriously weih...
its like erm...
i will overestimate/over dramatize a situation...
haha...
thats what happened to me always lar...
i take small things seriously...
its not a good thing...
tsk tsk tsk...
and thats why i tried to take the initiative...
=X..
it's like a light bulb popped up when Ms M said so...
but yeah...
no diff...
so...

=)...



and law today was...
alright..
still dun understand about the law...
=(...


tomorrow gonna watch movie in class!
lol...
its not a good thing when u think of wat u have to do after the movie...
analyze!!!

crack my brain but got ntg~


i give up in trying to blog a good post today...




so.....
again....





nite~!




~end~



Wednesday, September 16, 2009

lalala...what?


owh...
every monday from next next week onwards...
we'll have to hand in assignments....
until final starts something like that...
@@
do until i sot...

feel great when i finished homework before due date...
need not worry at all...
seriously...
the feeling is like...
cant be described...

well...
i always feel that...
no matter it is blogging or the reality..
im the same...
no being dramatic in both..
OR..
being dramatic in both...
thats for the people to judge...

i always feel that...
from the very beginning...
im like that,
until now...
im like that too...
maybe i have changed a lil...
but seriously...
im still the..
problematic me...

but of cuz,
compared to reality,
i wont blog much about my thoughts that much...
its too...
public...

i always tell myself,
friends come and go...
thats the principle la...
its my problem i guess..
i dun get along with ppl very well...
shit right?
me i mean...
=.=..
i have attitude problem...
lol...

and i do think alot alot until i find myself a bit...
too sensitive...
since young i m like that...
thats why..
i dun tell ppl about that...
only him..
because it is too embarrassing to tell...

how do u go like...
eh u dun like me ar?
eh i done wrong ar?
try to ask ppl around u are they feeling this way to u...
EVERYTIME when u feel like it...
den really u will make them dun like u laaaaaa...
lol..
self fulfilling prophecy...

i dunno leh...
dun like it when im behaving this way...
but...
reli it is hard to change...
=.=...



blah...
dun wan to write ad...


bye!



~end~



Saturday, September 12, 2009

lalala...study date with baby!=DD


early morning woke up and got myself ready...
simply because i was going out with baby today!
hehehe...
so happay~

sis sent me to the ktm station after i had done preparing...
and luckily,
the ktm came QUITE on time~
so i reached pyramid quite early...
but daniel lim was late!

he was the one who said wanted to go out early..
in the end he reached only at 11++...
haih suan le lor~
den after we purchased the movie tix,
we went somewhere and sit down and started doing my assignment.
LOL...

din do much also as i wasnt in the mood for that...
u know...
so called "study date" la...
but it is still a pak toh day...
after so long no meet leh!
heart also fly to him ad...
where got time for that la~
*i know i should not feel this way~but.....=(*

and dear was so sweet as he got me famous amos cookies because he knew that i like to eat..
hehe...
told him once and he remembered...
=))
but i think he got the wrong flavour one...
hehehe...
=p...

well after that we went and watch the movie...
the ugly truth...

another funny movie i can say...
there were few scenes that make all the audiences laughed...
worth it though~

i wanna watch where got ghost!!!!
but no time lah today...
ish....

well...
after the movie,
we went kim gary to makan...
gosh i had ordered the wrong food!
couldnt finish it!
ish ish ish...
so dam full after that...

because of we both were very full,
instead of going starbucks continue my work,
we decided to walk around first...
we tot of taking sticker pictures but in the end we gave up...
because both of us arent good at posing...
lol...
if no pose den wasted lar rite?
so we saved it for next time...
=P...

then we headed to starbucks,
after baby redeemed his coffee,
we started to do again the assignment,
well din do much also only finding information ..
because i said i will read after back home...

plus today reli short of time as sister told me if i dun go back earlier,
i wud have to walk home...
actually from the bus stop walk home is fine,
but at night?
better not risk my life...
even though i din bring much money out,
but the robber wouldnt know...
OMG..
*choi choi choi!!!!*
*slaps my mouth!!*
well i mean....
err...
nvm...
in the end i still made it by going back earlier...
so sis fetched me back~

*PHEW~!*

continue...
so after saving all the information,
we called it a day lor...

today the bus driver so funny,
i dun have small change so he said he pay for me first..
den i return him next time..
i was like HUH?
how to return u next time?
lol...
luckily dear was still there and he paid for me before the bus left...
if not i will die of guiltiness for not returning the money to the bus driver!
@@"


i like this pic~
hehe...

all these taken with my lappie,
thats why low quality...
there are alot more though...
just that all same position diff facial expression only...
but i still like it!
=*

dear i started missing u already!
but next meeting up will be long...
as u will be having finals soon and so do i will be busy for this short sem...
sigh...=(




hmmm...
we jia you together gether ok?
=)



im lucky to have u....=)





~end~




Wednesday, September 9, 2009

lalala....i have problem in thinking title..=.=



assignments start piling up...
no i din procrastinate this time...
simply because short sem is meant to be like this....
and when u are clueless on how to start it but u wan to finish them fast...
the feeling sucks...

not ranting on the subjects are hard...
only thing to complain is that my english sucks..
feel so restricted to express what i want to express in the first place...
when u have so limited vocabulary...
u face a problem in writing a good essay...

i have 2 questions of comm law to do today...
only 2 questions...
but took me so long to do...
to find information...
to read articles...
and now i still haven finish...
plus,
it is only class exercise,
which is needed by tmr...
if not,
i would have been doing research on my assignment now...
sigh...

comm law is so dam hard...
when it is the subject during short sem,
it is much harder..
try to cram all the political,law and facts into ur brain in 7 weeks...
need me to tell more?
definitely not easy...
especially when im not genius...
having problem in english and politics knowledge is like soooo little...

not only comm law,
media issue is another killer...
its about the same as comm law..
for media issue i need to read really plenty of journals to understand the issues in media..
so that points can be easily given out to strengthen whatever topic or theory or even concept is asked...

it is supposed to be a sem 3 subject,
but why on earth sem 2 is taking it?
i really dunno...

well...
i know even though my english is poor,
but i have no excuse to slack but to be more hardworking than the others...
this is the only way to survive,
of cuz i understand this concept...
and i cant just use one sentence "im lazy" to push off all my responsibilities..
because if im lazy and i din plan to change,
den im to blame...
not saying that im superb hardworking now...
but at least,
im hoping for a change...
in myself...
=)


better continue my hw now...
bye...







~end~




Saturday, September 5, 2009

lalala...what to blog?


got ntg special happen lately...

oh ya,
im not working during this sem as i want to concentrate more in the three tough subejcts..
(lol,kononnya focus huh~XD)
but i feel bad for not doing the job,
as once i left,
theres no "helper"
(i rather call myself helper than teacher lar)
to teach the students homework ad...
i mean..
still got the teachers lar
but it makes their life harder only...
feel so guilty..

but reli lor,
its freaking tired after class,
i dun wan to bring my tired mode to the class,
and if they done anything wrong,
i scared i will scold them up to the ceiling...
im that scary okaay~~

something happened and i dun really like it...
its just so hard to express it out...
im not those that can say watever i want,
coward u can call lar..
but its true that u need to pay for watever u have said...
what goes around comes around?
thats wat dear taught me...
=D

recently i have discovered that im kinda good for ntg...
lol..
pathetic rite..

need to upgrade myself...
at least until im good for something?
at least one?

oh..
theres also one thing that i found that it is quite true is that

when u are pointing one person with one of ur fingers,
please remember that,
there are still 3 fingers will be pointing at urself...

i must remember this also...

because im so not perfect,

so when i criticize others,
i really need to think that,
did i do the same thing also?
if i did,
i have got no right at all to complain...


this is one thing i need to change about myself...
which is thing that really hard to change also...
hahaha...
but trying hard lar...



i have a new header again...
this one is i stole from a blog of a fans of haoming..
=p..
it is nice rite?
hehehe







i love u more and more each day...
<3




~end~



Thursday, September 3, 2009

lalala..i hate my new timetable


i wonder why am i gaining weight SO FAST...
like seriously very fast...

and from chubby to abit plum plum den i think im turning into the fat category already..
omg...
why lar...
i dun wan to be so fat...

but i just dun have strong determination to control my eating habit...
T_T..
im just lack of it...
omg omg...
i need determination so much...
for diet or even studies...
determination...
come find me pls~T_T

i dun wanna be like last time...
nightmare....
fuh~


alright alright ignore that...
>.<
lets talk about my timetable...
omg i hate it alot weih...
its like sooooo suc*...
!@#$%^&*()_+

4 days 8 am class...
den one of them is 8 to 6..
OMG..
>..<

i seriously dislike it!
everyday also will be having headache...
will never miss out...
sigh~

other than that..
classes are all alright...
strict lecturer,
funny lecturer,
and last sem lecturer..

social psychology is interesting yet....
hard?

comm law is fun yet...
BORING?

media issues is...
so not my thing...
sigh...

gotta read more newspaper to know more about the politic in Malaysia...
as well as the issues in Malaysia...
if not, get ready to fail in media issues and comm law la!
T_T

classmates slowly turning back like last sem...
as last time m1 students mostly changed to m2..
not so good huh?
din get to interact with more ppl...
most of them are so good in english...
stress also when i talk with them...
no joke...
>.<

oh btw,
im so lack of self confidence and i really dunno why...
i just cant talk in front of the class..
*cries*



need to buck up in my studies...

i dun wanna fail..

i hope i can achieve wat i wan!




~end~